For the second time I find myself embarrassed. Cruise had been speaking to me in almost a whisper, and I'd been lulled into feeling that he was really talking to me, not just telling me something he wouldn't mind seeing in print. Now, when he puts on the brakes, I feel caught in the act of caring. This is Cruise's power as well as his talent: to always make you care, whether on screen or in person, about the complicated young man, coming from a painful nowhere, who uses everything he has — looks, charm, wits, maniacal ambition, and superhuman energy — to succeed.

EW: Don't you think it's true — that you're good at living?

TC: Yes, it is true. I mean, my mother's very good at living. My family is. And I think...I want to live. You know, I want to have a good, full life. That's how I've approached it.

EW: But you had a difficult childhood — your mother raised you and your sisters alone, you didn't have much money — how did you manage to keep from being pummeled by life?

TC: I just surrounded myself with people who wanted to see me succeed. You're only as good as the people that you surround yourself with. And you better be careful about that.

I look at certain people that aren't doing well and say, ''Well, who's around him? Do they want to see this person do well?'' And often I might find one person that really doesn't want to see this guy succeed. And I've been very careful — and lucky — in avoiding that. Because sometimes you can waste your life dealing with problems that you're not even making yourself. You know? There's a lot of fat in life that you don't want to have to deal with.

Look at your own life: Who really is there when you're up? Who's going, ''Congratulations! I'm really happy for you''? Or who's the person that sits back and goes, ''You know, your work was good for the scene, but you could have been 10 times better if it was written differently.'' Those are the times you just go, ''Why? Why? Why is this person saying that? What's happening here?''

Cruise begins to talk very fast, and the room fills up with words that seem secondary to the singular, passionate earnestness of the movie star sitting on the couch, soaring on conviction and adrenaline. I find myself entirely won over by his energy, which has a pounding, engorged quality, like a young man in the last few minutes of making love. It's no wonder that Cruise plays fighter pilots and race car drivers and men who beat other men to pulp — like his characters, he's got a 12-cylinder engine and an irrepressible need to open it up.

TC: Good directors, if they don't have the solution to a problem, they say, ''I don't know, but I'm going to do everything to make it go right.'' That's the way I am.

The next thing I know, there are people in the room — Cruise's employees — and though he doesn't acknowledge them, I know the interview is over. We shake hands. ''Thank you,'' he says, and I head for the door.

I think I've seen the last of him when he suddenly appears again, holding open the door and saying, ''Hey — again, thank you for everything. It was a real pleasure.'' And then he flashes his eyes at me, a signal from the guy inside the movie star, wishing me — a friend of a friend — a genuine goodbye.

I come away not knowing whether Cruise is someone who just doesn't talk about his darker side, or whether he's a soldier of a pseudoscience that asks him to repress his more chaotic feelings. I wonder whether he ever wakes up in the middle of the night, suddenly aware that his life is more complicated than he'd like it to be, or less satisfying. I wonder whether his gung ho approach won't someday get in the way of his growth and authenticity as a man and as an actor. Whether he knows that life sometimes pummels you — and that sometimes even the people whom you love and trust betray you. I wonder whether he'll be able to play deeper and more complex characters without first confronting his own depth and complexity.

A week later, Cruise calls from Memphis, where he has just started working on The Firm. This is my chance to ask some of these questions.

EW: Do you think that being as successful as you are, at such an early age, is dangerous?

TC: No. I don't think success is dangerous at any age, as long as you don't allow it to overwhelm you.

EW: Do you think there's a ''Tom Cruise movie''?

TC: Yeah, whichever one I'm doing at the time. (He laughs.)

EW: Is there a danger in making too many Tom Cruise movies?

TC: No. Only if I'm not in 'em.

EW: How is to work without Nicole (Kidman, his wife and costar in two films)?

TC: I miss her. But Dead Calm is playing here in Memphis — they put it on for Nic. Here I have this document of her life before she knew me.